


Shiroiwa_Test_1

by kaytmrn



Category: JO1 (Japan Band), Produce 101 (Japan TV)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Rukisei, Science Fiction, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:40:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23408440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaytmrn/pseuds/kaytmrn
Summary: Ren forced his little brother Shosei to go on a journey, to reunite with a friend they both last met six months ago.
Relationships: Kawashiri Ren/Ohira Shosei, Ohira Shosei/Shiroiwa Ruki
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	Shiroiwa_Test_1

_“Take deep breaths..”_

_“Just like that. Relax now..”_

_“Just tell him that one word, and everything will be finished.”_

~~~

Shosei arrived at his step-brother’s front door, looking at the scenery that had left so many memories in his head. The warm soft breeze from the sea made him feel the nostalgia. He hadn’t stepped into this house for a long time. This is the house where Shosei would seek comfort to his brother after a hard day at school. His step brother, someone who he once hated, turned out to be the one who provided that comfort for him when he needed it.

Shosei knocked on the door twice, which was then quickly opened by a silvery haired guy named Kawashiri Ren, his said step-brother.

“There you are,” he said as he wiped his sweat on his forehead, “It’s weird seeing you here again.”

“Yeah, you left me no choice, Ren-kun.”

“Well, we’ll find out if this is worth it,” Ren sighed, “You wanna see him? He’s in the green house.”

Shosei rolled his eyes, “Of course I do. Isn’t that the reason why we’re here?”

~~~

Ren opened the door to the green house, which revealed the large collection of herbage and vegetation he had been taking care of for the past six years. There was a long path in the middle that separated the green house into two sections, and at the end of that path, Shosei could see the man who had been waiting for him, a friend of Ren’s who he introduced to Shosei some time ago.

“Shosei!” Ruki approached him half running and quickly hugged the blonde haired Shosei tight, “It’s been a while.”

As they hugged, Shosei really tried to feel Ruki’s body; his torso, his shoulder, his hair. They were all attached and felt real. But before he could examine him further, Ruki pulled away. Shosei now could see his face in close-up. _That smile_ , he thought. He was grateful that they could portray Ruki’s smile properly, because for him it was the most important thing. The younger thought Ruki looked perfect, from head to toe, just like how he knew him before.

“Ren didn’t tell me sooner that you were gonna come by, so we didn’t get to prepare anything for you.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“What are your plans while you’re here, Shosei?”

“I.. I don’t..” Shosei was flustered, of course he didn’t have anything planned. It was Ren who forced him to do this.

So Ren spoke up, “I’m gonna clean up a bit, then, we all can hang out at the beach. Sounds cool?” asked the house’s owner.

Shosei got no other choice but to agree since he really had no plans even though he felt awkward to go out with two people that he hadn’t been seeing for the past six months. Ruki, on the other hand, nodded in excitement. He couldn’t wait to play at the beach, the number one spot he liked since he was just a little boy.

~~~

Soon they were at the beach, the go-to place for the three of them during the old times. Playing with the warm water and the golden sand, they felt like they were teenagers again. There was no one else at that beach; the only sound they could hear was their own laughs, the seagulls screeching, and of course, the waves crashing against the shore.

As the memories poured in, Ruki headed over to the shore, where it felt most calm and peaceful. He sat, facing the water, being hesitant to ask Shosei to join him since he, too, felt a little bit awkward to be with him again after not talking for so long. He couldn’t remember when was the last time they really spoke. But Ruki decided to be the bigger person, and called Shosei to join him,

“Hey, you!”

Shosei turned around. He who just got off from the water walked wobbly towards Ruki who was waiting for him. Then Shosei sat next to him nervously after Ruki signalling him to do so. Shosei knew sooner or later, they both had to have this serious talk. He wasn’t sure if he was ready, though.

“I know it’s none of my business, but, I know Ren's glad that you’re here,” Ruki looked deep into Shosei’s eyes, “I’m glad you’re here.”

The brightness of the sun somehow made Ruki glitched a little in front of Shosei’s eyes. But Shosei ignored it, he wouldn’t let it ruin the mood.  
“Shosei.. Ren told me tha--”

“I don’t want to talk about my brother," he said cutting Ruki' off.

“Okay. What do you want to talk about, then?” Ruki glitched again, “Weren’t you the one who wished for this to happen?”

“No, it was Ren’s idea!”

“Ren wouldn’t sign you up for this if he wasn’t worried about you since..,” Ruki paused and gave him a warm smile, “Tell me, Shosei, what’s on your mind?”

“I don’t know..” Shosei’s pulse got faster and he started breathing heavily, “I feel like..”

“I feel like..” He couldn’t finish his own words, as he was struggling with his own mind.

He then suddenly yelled out, “I can’t do this, get me out of here!!”

“Whoa, okay, hey,” Ruki got up and sat in front of the panicked Shosei, putting one of his palms on Shosei’s chest, calming him down, “Ssh.. breathe.. You got this.”

He did what Ruki told; slowly taking a breathe in.. then breathe out. He got his breathing slowed down as he realized there was no other way but to go with all the procedures and finish it until the end.

~~~

At nightfall, the three friends were already in their pajamas. In Ren’s dimly lit living room with its many old wooden furniture and tall ceilings, three of them were sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, getting themselves cozy and warm.

Shosei was watching Ruki trying to dry his wet hair in front of the mirror with his tired eyes. In the corner of Shosei’s eyes, he could see his step brother was also looking at Ruki. Shosei was reminded of how Ren was missing Ruki too. They were best friends after all.

Realizing he was being stared at, Ruki turned around, stopped, and faced Shosei with embarrassed look on his face. Blushing and giggling as he said,

“Hey, come on. I can see y'all staring at me from here.”

_Pause._

_Rewind._

“Hey, come on. I can see y’all staring at--”

_Rewind._

“Hey, come on. I can s--”

_Rewind_.

“Hey, come on. I--”

Shosei kept replaying the moment their eyes met, the moment the corner of Ruki’s mouth was drawn upwards. He loved it, every millisecond of it.

But then, Ren stopped him. The older knew it wasn’t healthy for Shosei to keep doing it to himself. Shosei soon enough realized it and then completely made Ruki disappear from the view, leaving only the two brothers now in the living room.

“This is a mistake, Ren-kun.”

“Shosei, listen. I know this is weird. I get that. It’s weird for me too.”

Ren scooted to the side, to sit right next to his little brother, then grabbing his hand in his, “But we’re here, aren’t we? I just think we should make the most out of this, take advantage of being here, you know?”

Shosei scrunched his forehead, “What do you want me to do?”

“Anything you never got a chance to do with him!”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.. Kiss him?”

“Ren-kun, I’m not gonna do that.”

“Okay, maybe not that. How about s--”

Shosei had enough, cutting Ren from suggesting another weird thing. Today had been very overwhelming for the 19 year-old. There were a lot to take in. He just needed to breathe for a second.

“Can you please just.. Leave, for a bit?”

Ren knew he had went too far and stressed Shosei out more. He decided to leave from the program, giving Shosei some time alone that he needed.

The room went awfully quiet now that there was only Shosei left in that room. He knew he just said it was a mistake, but Ren’s words woke something inside him. _Maybe_ , he thought, _just maybe, I SHOULD take advantage of being here._

So he called Ruki back, then asked him if he wanted to spend the night with him. Ruki simply responded with a gentle nod, and they stayed until the two fell asleep next to each other.

~~~

Morning after that intimate night, Shosei found Ruki already woke up way earlier than he did. He was sitting alone at the front porch, his face was red, he looked like he had been crying. It was a bright, sunny morning. The weather was clement, the birds were chirping. But for some reason, the expression on Ruki’s face wasn’t as bright.

“Hey,” Shosei took a seat next to him.

“Hey,” Ruki greeted the younger back sweetly, wiping his tears hoping Shosei hadn’t seen him crying.

“How did you sleep last night?” Asked Ruki while offering him a warm smile.

“It was alright."

“It was fun, talking with you again,” Ruki said.

“Likewise,” Shosei responded, “So, why are you crying?”

Then Ruki shifted his sitting position to the side, facing Shosei, “Last night before we slept.. You held my hand.”

Ruki smiled with blushing cheeks and tears clouding his eyes. Shosei could only watch in pain.

“Do you like me?” Ruki asked softly.

Shosei chuckled. He couldn’t believe, all this time, Ruki was completely clueless about Shosei’s feelings towards him. The blonde gulped, knowing it was finally the time to tell him after holding back for God knows how long.

“Do I like you?” Shosei grabbed Ruki by the shoulders, “Ruki-kun, I.. I love you.”

Shosei looked into his brown eyes and he finally cried, “I love you and I miss you.. So much.”

He finally said it. The thing that he never got a chance to say. A sense of relief and hurt hit him at the same time. He had arrived at the finish line of the program before he realized it. Saying "I love you" was the final task, and with that said, the program would end. Without having a chance to hear Ruki’s response, Ruki disappeared before his eyes. At last, the scenery around him dispersed into pixels and everything went black.

~~~

“Okay, we’re done,” said the scientist with white lab coat who sat right in front of Shosei, pointing at the monitor beside her that showed that the device had finished working.

Shosei opened his eyes up, trying to adjust to the lighting around him. He was back to the examination room, with the scientist and his step brother Ren who sat at the corner of the room. His head felt dizzy so he tried to remove the head-set from his head.

“Let me help you with that,” the scientist got up and helped disconnecting the wires and loosened the head-set that was attached on Shosei.

“How long ago was Mr. Shiroiwa’s accident again?” asked the scientist once she got the device off.

“About six months,” Ren answered on behalf of Shosei.

Ren was hoping his brother would get a sense of relief and closure from this therapy, but instead what was shown of Shosei’s face were sadness and fatigue. He couldn’t lie that there was a feeling of regret from forcing his brother to try this new kind of trauma healing therapy in this facility.

“Can I have a minute alone?” Shosei asked once he fully regained his awareness of being back from the virtual world. His heart was still beating very fast.

“Sure,” Ren sighed then glanced at the scientist, signaling her to leave Shosei alone. The two then got up, and before Ren left, he rubbed Shosei’s shoulder, comforting him without saying any words.

Being alone in the room which was very quiet, Shosei had the chance to really take in what he just experienced. He still couldn’t believe he saw him again, his crush, no, the love of his life. That felt too real. He fell to the floor as he stared at the device in front of him. If he could, he wanted to do it again, but as he was told before, unfortunately it was the only chance that he got. 


End file.
